then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
