Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
why is half of my head shaved?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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