look no pants
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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