Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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