Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
