i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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