he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
