Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
