why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
