So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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