the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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