I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
