White coat. Heels.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
