when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
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