why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
