best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
