you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
