is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
