I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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