getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She even gives head with a lisp.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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