Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
