I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
where are you?
Hypothermia
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
