the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
