His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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