So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
