sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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