So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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