Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
