Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
