she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
