Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
