i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
