YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
