i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
