i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
