But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize