Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
