The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
