Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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