I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
