We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
