My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
