'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize
