I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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