id be glad to
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
