dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
