Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He shit in the fireplace
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
