you have to choose: penises or morals?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
