i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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