hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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