I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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