Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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